Most prevention professionals are doing too much. They’re planning events, recruiting students, managing details, and handling crises—all while wondering why their students aren’t stepping up as leaders. The truth is: if you’re playing the game, you can’t be coaching it. In this comprehensive guide based on our VIP Prevention Pro course, discover how to shift from transactional to transformational leadership and empower your students to run the club without you.
Key Takeaways
- Empower students to take ownership and lead.
- Focus on transformational, not transactional, leadership.
- Let students fail, learn, and grow.
- Coach students instead of solving problems for them.
- Lead with high expectations, support, and love.
- Build sustainable leadership by developing new leaders.
Empowering Youth in Prevention Leadership
Jake: Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Drug Prevention Power Hour. I’m your host, Jake White, and today I’m actually bringing you inside one of our courses. We have this program where prevention leaders from across the US are learning how to lead youth prevention clubs, peer-led organizations.
When you feel like, hey, I’m doing this all myself, I need to change. I need to start doing actual student-led clubs and events and empowering them to lead—because you know that that’s the longevity of our impact. You know that students can do it better than us 99% of the time. And you’re ready to stop doing everything yourself and start empowering the people around you to make a difference with you.
I’m gonna bring you in what I feel has been one of the most empowering lessons that we’ve created. And I did not do this by myself. There’s an incredible coach out there called Dan Martell and a book called Buy Back Your Time. And so whenever I read something, I’m asking, how does this apply to the prevention field? How specifically does this apply to peer-led clubs or engaging youth in prevention and making it more fun and accessible?
So today’s lesson is about embracing your role as a coach, as a prevention coach, somebody who’s not doing everything yourself, but who’s actually empowering other people to do their best work. And so whether you’re leading a club or you’re managing a team or you’re the director of an entire organization, I promise you that today’s episode is going to give you real tangible strategies that you could literally use today to make your life easier, to make you better at your job, and to empower the leaders around you to step up.
The Role of a Coach in Student-Led Prevention
Let’s dive into your role as a coach because if you’re playing the game with the students, then you’re not being a great adult guide or an advisor or a sponsor. The whole point of student-led prevention is that it’s student-led. So let’s look at actually what does this specifically look like?
I remember having this conversation recently about how coaches get the best out of their athletes. And there are different approaches. Some coaches—like the character in Ted Lasso—focus on interpersonal relationships. They dance with their athletes, celebrate birthdays, celebrate mistakes. They’re quick to forgive and quick to encourage.
Then you have coaches who are barking at their team members, yelling, swearing—because they’re trying to pull out what they believe is the best performance out of their athlete.
When it comes to prevention, we can see what a coach is supposed to be. And it starts with this realization: it’s their game, not ours. The students are the players and we’re the coach.
What This Means:
- Students come up with ideas
- Students plan those ideas
- Students implement them
- Yes, they will have failure opportunities, and they will learn from them
- Students recruit other students and lead the group
If this sounds like things that you’re currently doing, it means we’re gonna have to start relying on your players more instead of the coach performing on the court.
Your Job as Coach:
- Oversee the group
- Measure and hold students accountable to what they said they would do
- Be in charge of safety, growth, and providing unique opportunities
- Develop your prevention players so they grow as leaders
“It’s their game, not ours. The students are the players and we’re the coach.”
Transactional vs. Transformational Leadership
I got this concept from a book called Buy Back Your Time by Dan Martell. Whenever I read a book, I’m thinking about how it applies to prevention and how we can use it in our field. Some of the coolest things I’ve learned have been from books that actually aren’t about prevention.
Transactional Leadership
Trans means “across or through.” Action means “to do or to perform.” So transactional leadership is about getting someone to do something that you want. How you do that: you tell them exactly what to do, you check their work, and then you assign the next task.
I don’t know about you, but that’s exhausting. You didn’t really have a team member. You basically did it yourself anyway.
If you’ve had a boss who micromanaged you before, you remember how disheartening it was. You didn’t feel valued. You knew they didn’t trust you. You didn’t feel smart enough to do your job by yourself. And you were probably looking for a way out.
Why Transactional Leadership Doesn’t Work:
- No empowerment of team members
- No growth or ownership taken by the students
- Everything still relies on you
- Creates dependency, not leadership
Transformational Leadership
To transform means “to shape.” We’re using this word to show that this goes beyond telling students what to do. It’s about forming the actual person. It’s shaping them as leaders. You’re shaping their skills and their character. And this is what great coaches do.
I’ve noticed that some coaches who don’t know how to coach are yelling from the sidelines. But the ones who have transformed their team? They’re calm on the sidelines because they know they’ve taught their students how to act during the game. They know they’ve developed their skills and character. So they’re very calm, knowing that, hey, I’ve developed them. They know what to do. I’m gonna let this play out.
What Transformational Leadership Looks Like:
- Instead of looking at the action, you’re looking at the outcome
- You share the goal with your student leaders and let them use their skills and creativity to get there
- You help measure and hold them accountable with check-ins and milestones
- These check-ins are consistent—weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, or quarterly (it’s on your calendar)
- You coach them through challenges—you’re not taking over, you’re teaching them how to overcome obstacles as they come up
“When coaches have transformed their team, they’re calm on the sidelines because they know they’ve taught their students how to act during the game.”
The Pencil Story: Why You Shouldn’t Save the Day
I remember when I was in college and I had a first-year biology class with 270 students. It was the first week of school and everyone was nervous, just like me. The teacher handed out a pretest and said, “Hey, this is just for you to figure out what you know. It’s not gonna be part of your grade. In fact, you’re gonna get 100% just for completing it, no matter what your score is.”
Then he said, “Hey, if anybody needs pencils, first day of class, I’ve got some down here if you need some.”
I started taking my test and I realized the guy next to me wasn’t taking it at all. He just sat there, arms crossed, backpack on the floor, empty test, no movement. So I looked over and asked, “Hey, you all right?” He said, “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”
I said, “You’re not taking your test?”
He said, “Yeah, I didn’t bring a pencil.”
I was like, “No worries. The teacher said he brought a bunch of pencils. They’re down there.”
He said, “No, that’s okay.”
I realized this student was scared to get up and go grab a pencil. He was gonna take a zero on the very first assignment.
So I thought, wow, that’s ridiculous. I can go get a pencil, like even if he’s not willing. So I gave him my pencil, I walked down, grabbed one for myself, and came back up.
But here’s what happened: At that point, no one had moved when he said he had pencils down there. But as soon as I did, I saw fifteen, maybe twenty students get up out of their chairs and grab a pencil too. It was wild.
The Lesson
I learned a lesson that day. Everyone was scared to be at college and I didn’t need to be scared because we’re all in the same boat. I became more outgoing that day. I became more courageous to do the right thing.
Later, when I told this story on a podcast episode with Dr. Crystal Collier, she told me something important: “Jake, that day, you had neurodevelopment. You learned lessons because you got up and did something. But the guy next to you didn’t get that neurodevelopment because you saved him.”
Whoa. What a lesson.
Of course, I was a student then, just a freshman. But I got the benefit of the development because I got up and did something.
If I had been a coach back then, I should not have gotten up and done it for him. I should have let him learn the lesson by failing the test or maybe asked him a question so he could realize he does want to get up and do that.
Empowering Students Through Failure
Now I wasn’t a coach, so I’m not gonna beat myself up about it. But the lesson sticks. For us, it means this: we are all here to prepare our students for the future. So we can’t stop them from failing. In fact, we need to help them fail.
So stop saving the day. That’s actually training our students to rely on you. Every time you save the day, they’re learning, “Great, if I need anything done or if I get uncomfortable, I’m just gonna go to my advisor.”
It might feel great for you to feel needed. But you’re not equipping them. Just like I was not equipping that new friend I made my freshman year of college.
The Second Big Mistake: Stop Excusing Your Students When They Mess Up
If someone doesn’t do their job, it needs to be addressed. Some of my biggest learning moments, actually, as a student and today, is when my mentor told me that I screwed up. If I did everything perfectly or they just celebrated me, sure that felt encouraging, but I didn’t learn anything. I didn’t get better.
My best moments—the moments that shaped who I was—is when someone lovingly pointed out a mistake that I made and said, “Hey, this is the impact of that mistake. It caused this to happen.”
And yes, it did hurt. But I saw how I impacted the team. And it’s because of the hurt or the emotion that I actually got better and learned from it.
Some of you are thinking: “No, I don’t ever want to make a student feel bad.”
Listen, you cannot stop your students from feeling bad. You can’t. But if you excuse them or you keep saving them, you’re actually leading to more hurt down the road when you’re not around.
It’s amazing that they have you in their corner right now because you can be a person who lovingly tells them:
“Hey, I’ve got some news for you. It might be hard to hear, but I do it because I love you and I see the potential in you. So here’s what I observed happen. And then when this happened, this is how it hurt the team, or this is what I have to do because of it. Here’s the impact of it. What would you like to do differently next time?”
You can’t stop them from having emotions. Emotions are good. We learn from emotions.
The Third Mistake: Don’t Change Their Work
If you want your students to do a project and you end up changing it because you think it should be better, you’re basically saying: “Hey, nice try, but I don’t really value what you did. Nice try. Thanks for putting in the time, but I had to redo it anyway, so your time was wasted. Your effort was wasted.”
That’s not a student-led club. That’s not being a coach. That’s putting yourself back in as a player.
Let Go of Perfectionism
Here’s what I need you to realize: Our opinions as adults, they’re not as valuable as the student perspective. So for us to go in and judge their work is pretty self-centered.
We need to learn how to expect progress instead of saying, “Hey, the outcome has to be incredible the first time.”
The Reality:
Their imperfect work is actually better than our perfect work.
The expectation for youth is: “Hey, you’re committed to the cause, you’re here to learn, and you’re trying to do good for your community.”
And they’re already facing so much scrutiny online for not looking or sounding or performing a certain way. Our club needs to be an escape from that.
Yes, we’re gonna hold them accountable to what they decide to do. Yes, we’re gonna celebrate when they do it. We’re gonna celebrate when they try. We’re not gonna sugarcoat it or say like everything they do is perfect, because that’s not the point.
The Point Is: They did it. They tried. They learned. They made a difference.
Oftentimes when I think about my own perfectionism, I realize it’s really self-centered. I’m like, “Well, they did that, but I don’t really like it. It’s not as good as the way I would do it.”
The reality is: How conceited am I to think that my view as somebody who’s 10 or 15 years older than them is better than their view?
“Their imperfect work is better than our perfect work.”
If we’re trying to do real student-led prevention, we have to embrace this.
Strategies for Effective Coaching in Prevention
Strategy 1: Teach Rather Than Tell (Use Questions)
Whenever a student asks you a question, ask them a question back. Avoid the urge to be too helpful. We want them to realize that they’re helpful and they’re resourceful. This puts the ownership on their plate and takes it off of your plate.
Example:
Student: “Hey, what do you think we should do?”
Your response: “Well, I don’t know. How could you find that out? What would you do to find out what we should do next? What are you thinking right now?”
You’re answering questions with questions.
Strategy 2: Raise Expectations (Don’t Lower Them)
Instead of lowering our expectation to where someone is currently, we actually need to increase our expectations so that they grow to meet that. This is exactly how we transform students into leaders. We’re forming them.
Strategy 3: Normalize Failure
When anyone messes up, be very calm. It’s normal to fail. That’s what we’re modeling. Maybe you can share a time when you failed and you learned a similar lesson.
Then ask them: “Hey, what did you learn from this? What do you want to do to change the outcome next time or to grow from this?”
This helps set expectations and empowers students to be their best selves as they develop as leaders.
Strategy 4: Edit With Them, Don’t Edit For Them
Instead of changing or critiquing their work, remind them of the goal and ask what they need to change to meet that goal.
See what changes they come up with. Listen—they might surprise you with what they already know and how resourceful they’re being. That’s the cool thing. The experience of finding out what needs to change is really, really powerful.
So don’t change their work. Edit it with them.
If you need to offer specific changes, sit down next to them and take them through it:
“Hey, I think we need to edit this and say it this way or try it this way. Why do you think that I said we should do that?”
Have them think that through. If they don’t get it, then you can say:
“Okay, here, I’m gonna tell you what I’m thinking. This is how, when this happens, we usually do this. Or this is what the science and data tells us. So now when I see a problem, I think of a solution like this.”
Now they’re learning because they’re doing it right beside you instead of you taking it home and changing everything.
Strategy 5: Reinforce Growth and Resilience
As you go through this editing process with students and you set high expectations, always reinforce that challenges are a normal part of doing something amazing.
Anytime you offer feedback, say things like: “Hey, I’m so proud of you for making the changes. You’re really showing that you have the leadership skills to make a huge difference.”
Strategy 6: Gradually Increase Their Responsibility
Remember that this club should actually operate without you. You are increasing their workload or increasing the responsibility. It can be slow so they’re coaching and growing into the role.
Every week, ask yourself: “How can I give a new part of my job to the students?”
This builds their confidence, leadership, and their self-efficacy.
Expectations, Love, and Sustainable Leadership
Expectations and love are one of the biggest parts that I would like to surround this plan with.
This isn’t just something that companies and youth groups are using. This is aligned with the most effective parenting style for raising successful kids.
Data shows that this approach leads to:
- Higher self-esteem
- Self-confidence
- Better emotional regulation
- Problem-solving skills
- Stronger academic and social performance
- The ability to resist peer pressure
- Making responsible choices
This is what we call the authoritative style of parenting, which data shows is the most effective for raising successful kids.
How We Do This:
- Create clear and firm boundaries
- Hold them accountable
- Support them and keep them safe
- Communicate both ways listen as well as share
Remember: Some of these roles might feel like, “Dang, this is like giving them a real job.” And it is. Surround this job by your support, your expectations, and your love as their mentor.
And listen, I know when you do this, the student is going to look back and say, “My life was transformed by this one adult I had in my life. They made a big difference in my life.”
I can confidently say that will be you if you’re able to pull this off and prioritize all these tacticsleading with love, high expectation, and operating as their coach instead of just another player on their team.
The One-Three-One Leadership Model
As our club grows, here’s how I want you to think: If you want your students to run the entire club without you next year, we can start the process right now.
I call it the One-Three-One leadership model:
- You personally mentor three leaders (maybe your president, vice president, and secretary)
- Everything you do with them, you’re modeling them to mentor one other person as well
If you do this, it’s gonna transform:
- The way your club leads
- Your personal life (because you won’t have to do everything yourself)
- You develop processes, training, and systems that students can follow as a guide
And one day when you retire or pass off the club to somebody else, there’s a guide for them to follow. And those students that you poured into? They’re probably gonna wanna come back and lead the club too.
Remember: Sustainable leadership is modeled by you.
Access Our VIP Prevention Pro Course
If you loved this episode and want more strategies like this, we have a comprehensive online course and community designed specifically for prevention leaders just like you.
What’s Included in VIP Prevention Pro:
✓ Every course we’ve ever created
✓ Access to all modules on student leadership, accountability, and club management
✓ Monthly meetings with Vive18 staff to discuss your specific challenges
✓ Custom solutions developed for your organization
✓ Community of prevention leaders solving problems together
The Numbers:
- Coalitions and districts save 5-10 hours every single week using our system
- Only $97/month or $900/year
- That’s the best deal we have
We also have free courses like:
- Youth Launch Bootcamp (how to start a peer-led club)
- How to Host Sober Parties
- Coalition-specific programs
Visit: vive18.com → scroll to “Online Courses” at the bottom
