Jennifer Hirst is a sober coach and founder of Lighthouse Sobriety, where she helps women build lives they don’t want to escape from. In this episode of the Drug Prevention Power Hour, Jen shares her journey from keeping her sobriety private for years to openly sharing her story and turning her experience into a career helping others in recovery.
Jen and Jake White discuss the importance of community, building healthy habits, learning how to ask for help, and finding practical ways to stay connected throughout recovery. Jen also breaks down the six daily habits she uses with women in her programs and explains why starting small, showing yourself grace, and sharing your authentic story can make a difference.
Key Takeaways
- Sharing your story can be a powerful act of courage and freedom.
- Community and connection are essential for lasting sobriety.
- Simple daily habits can significantly support recovery efforts.
- Being authentic and vulnerable online builds trust and connection.
- Starting small and stacking habits leads to sustainable change.
Introduction and Connection
Jake White: Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Drug Prevention Power Hour. I’m your host, Jake White from Vive 18, and today we are hanging out with Jen Lee Hurst. Now, Jennifer Hurst is on a mission to change the way we think about alcohol. As a sober coach and the founder of Lighthouse Sobriety, she helps women build lives they don’t want to escape from.
We don’t just quit drinking, we change our habits, regulate our nervous systems, heal what alcohol is covering up, and create lives that are filled with confidence, energy, and the occasional diet coke. I love that. Through coaching and online programs with an amazing community of women, she’s helped women stop surviving, stop doing this alone, and start feeling their very best. Now, Jen, I saw you on social media and was like, I need to have a conversation with you.
I love what you’re doing. I love how out loud you are for helping people in recovery. So just thank you for being on the show with me today. I really appreciate it.
Jen: my gosh, of course. Thank you so much for having me on because I wasn’t out loud about my sobriority for about four years. So I actually just shared on Instagram that September seventh is my coming out date. And so I can’t say my life completely changed right after that, but it gave me the confidence to start sharing that. And through that, I was able to actually change my careers and become a sober coach.
Because I started talking about it and I started sharing it and then boosting my confidence about this choice, which I had kept hidden for so many years.
The Journey to Sobriety
Jake White: Dang, I can relate to that, Jen. In college I felt really weird for being sober and I wasn’t in recovery myself. I just had chosen not to from family and I felt like, yeah, no one’s gonna relate to me anymore or they’re not gonna wanna invite me to things on the weekends and it felt kinda weird.
Jen: Yeah, yeah. And we I think so many of us can and it even prevented me from getting sober for so many years because we’re so worried about what other people think. And in reality, and I like to share this and to the women in my groups, is everybody’s so concerned about what everybody thinks about them, but in turn, everybody’s just thinking about themselves. So in reality, no one’s actually thinking about you. We just think that they are. And as my husband also is such a great model of this, is
cares what anybody thinks? Right. And it, but again, I was so wrapped up in that. And so it took me a while to let that guard down to not value my worth and other people’s opinions of my choice. Because why hide something that saved my life? Why hide something that switched my career, that gave me my two kids? Why is that something to keep hidden? That’s something to celebrate. And I hope to bring that out in women.
To also get that confidence that it’s nothing to be ashamed of, that it’s something to celebrate. And the more and more people that we can get to feel proud of this decision, to voice that, it’s an act of courage and that it’s nothing, again, to be ashamed of. It’s something to celebrate, but we’re only concerned about it because that’s what we’ve kind of been taught. So I’m hoping to kind of break that mold and give ourselves the opportunity to stand up, to share it.
But I know that’s a personal choice for everybody. But once you do,
Jake White: Yeah, yeah.
Jen: it’s just it’s such a freeing feeling. But
Jake White: Yeah. Well and it’s credible. It’s powerful. It’s incredible. It’s freeing. and I’m gonna encourage anybody, if you are if you’re just at home listening to this, just pop onto Instagram, find Jen Lee Hurst right now, and just give her a quick follow because you’re you’re getting that kind of motivational morning. I just got from you, Jen, this little like, dang, all right, I can do it, I can stay it. And that’s it’s something strong. I’m gonna help change the world. You’re getting that every day.
And you had mentioned, Jen, that this is now your your full time job as a as a sober coach. the listeners here, they are they’re working in prevention and recovery. it is their professional career as well. But how did it go from what you were doing before to to what you’re doing right now? What did that transition look like?
Becoming a Sober Coach
Jen: Yeah, I actually got my career in graphic design. Now I was an art director for magazines and I had no intention of becoming a sober coach. Because again, I lived in the sober closet for four years. I didn’t think anybody cared. I didn’t think any no one asked me about it. And it I didn’t think I was supposed to share about it, but I wanted to. I wanted to share about it. And I was wondering why people weren’t asking about it to me. But I it was honestly a woman’s
Fitness transformation that changed everything for me. And that’s crazy because you’re like, how did that have you become a sober coach? But once I saw her transformation, I’m very motivated by women with muscle. I was floored and I never follow people randomly on back then on Facebook, but I started following her and she was a beachbody coach. And if you know what beach body is, they do like fitness, they do nutrition, and they do mindset. And so I had used their programs in the past, and I say this because.
I had followed this random person, decided to become a coach, which was totally out of my comfort zone, but I loved what these products were doing. They were, and exercise is so important for sobriety, so important for your mental health, for that brain repair. And part of becoming a beach body coach was to share your story on social media, which was very new to me. I didn’t even share about my sobriety date, and I would keep people hidden. I would kind of be.
Coy about it. But if part of sharing my story and being myself online within two weeks of starting to do that, even though it was really uncomfortable, I didn’t know how to take pictures of myself. It was very, very out of the box for me. I told my husband, I think I’m supposed to come out and share about my sobriety. How are people supposed to trust me? Which I’m very, very that’s a very important value for me because I spent how many years lying about my drinking.
Is that trust is very important to me. I don’t want to feel or anybody to feel like I’m selling to them. I fully believe in what I do. But how can they do that if they don’t know this big part of me? And so within two weeks, I did a coming out post on September 7th saying, and this was when I started following AA. I did AA for seven years until I found my own way. And so I said, hey, I’m Jenna, I’m an alcoholic. I wrote it in less than four minutes. It and I posted it right before I went to a meeting.
And I had a vulnerability hangover where I’m like, my God, I can’t believe I just did that. I just like came out of the closet. Everyone’s gonna know. What are they gonna think? And then I came back and I checked it and I received nothing but love and encouragement and support. I’m so stinking proud of you. And I was just, I felt so stinking free. And it’s not from that that I just became a sober coach, but through that, and what I intended to do was to help women lose weight.
And through sharing bits and pieces more and more about my story, I realized I don’t think I’m supposed to help women lose weight. I think I’m supposed to help them get sober. So many women started to come to me with questions. What are you doing? What’s helping? How did you do it? And I’m like, I I just shared and I started helping women in my messages. And then it was actually through Rachel Hollis, who is an author who wrote Girl Wash Your Face, that I really got the idea and I toyed with it for many years.
Becoming a sober coach. And I always dabbled with am I good enough? I don’t think I’m good enough. I need this piece of paper. I need to do this and I need to do that. But my experience, I am very well versed in sobriety. I’ve done inpatient three times, I’ve done outpatient eight times. I’ve done AA, I’ve gone to re rehab. Like I said, I’ve done detox, I’ve done jail time, I’ve done all of it. And through that experience, I can now share that with the women of what’s working for me. And so
That’s how I started with one-on-one clients with the intention of doing group coaching programs because connection, community, is the answer for sobriety. We need connection. It’s the opposite of addiction. And that’s they haven’t found that sober community. And that is the answer. And so I wanted to bring these women together. We have one start date. We’re gonna all start on this stage. No matter where you are at in your journey, I’m gonna give you what to expect, how to get through your first 24 hours, how to get through your first week, and then give you the tools to make it stick of how to set a boundary. What do you say to people now that you don’t drink? Which is really awkward. It’s really actually even crazy that we worry ourselves over this, but it’s a real thing of how to live sober in our life, how to make it something again that we’re excited to wake up to and something to make it stick. And so all of these things that I’ve learned over the course of 13 years, I’ve put into this program to help them. But again, it’s really that group aspect that is the magic. And that’s how women, if they choose to engage, get the most out of it.
And so that’s kind of how I know it’s a long story, but it started out with design. It started really with me coming out of the sober closet. And then it really just led me to this. I had no intention for this being my career. I just kept following and looking for the signs and receiving those messages. And the one thing I was so nervous to talk about is now the one thing that I love to talk about.
And it’s my profession. I get to be surrounded by these amazing women who are changing their lives every single day. It is so freaking amazing to see the light come back in their eyes and the smile come back on. And that is something that you just cannot get from designing a brochure. It’s like the coolest job in the world. And I love it.
Jake White: It does sound cool. And yeah, you can’t get it from designing a brochure. You’re building a community. It’s that’s so.
Building Community and Connection
Jake White: powerful. And what’s interesting I want to highlight for our listeners is that we’re dealing with the same exact things as adults as our students are dealing with. They’re they’re wrestling with this decision of do I take an easy escape or do I do the the challenging thing, the healthy thing?
The one that makes me better, right? The shortcut or the skill set. And when we choose the skill set, the question also remains: well, am I going to find community? How can I be social? How can I overcome challenges? And so you have this group of women who are doing all of that together and they’re navigating the same social situations, the pressure, the what do I say if I’m out at this situation? The same things that our students are facing when we think about our field of prevention or Restorative practice or recovery. we all deal with this human need to just be with one another, to have our voices heard. And it’s so cool, Jen, that your story started by like, I’m just gonna share my story and that you felt so anxious about it, or like I could feel the weight on me when you were telling the story, like you went to the meeting and that’s probably all you were thinking about, like barely present. and then when you got back, like able to breathe out because there was this just acceptance from everybody. And that’s what your group is now able to offer so many people.
Jen: Yeah, it’s just like this huge weight lifted off. It’s like this just this big secret of how many secrets do we keep? But again, people get there in their own time when they want to come out or if they ever want to. But once you do, it’s just it’s so freeing. But my goal is to help give you the confidence to do that because chances are there’s someone in your circle who is looking for someone to go first. And be honored that that person is you. We have to be the ones to go first. And then you’ll just see by being the example, by being the lighthouse, who will follow because they’re waiting for someone to do it. We don’t know that you can go to a concert and not drink. I never knew you could do that. And then I’m like, my god, why once you do it, you’re like, why was I drinking during this? That is such a waste of my money and my time. I’m not even present for this $300 ticket that I’m going to go see because I’m hammered. It’s such a waste. And so we just don’t even know that it’s possible until someone does it, has a great time, is able to drive home, wake up the next day, go on a run, you’re like, what the heck am I doing? And so that’s what it’s kind of like a wake up call. Once you step out of the matrix and you look at it, like, my gosh, I can do all of these things without alcohol, have an even better time, and actually remember it. That’s pretty amazing.
Jake White: It is pretty amazing. And I I love your name, The Lighthouse, is that you are shining like this is possible, giving people safety if they choose to go to it. and it’s such an amazing lesson when you get to experience it for yourself and and in community. And Jen, I know that you you have sort of a framework or six tips that you give people if they’re starting their recovery journey. And this is always so helpful.
Even if we’re in the field, I love a good checklist, Jen. I’m like, give me something to share. Give me, give me a couple of steps to use when I, you know, am asked for advice because I I don’t know it all and I I want to learn from everybody. So what’s can you give us an overview of your tips that you share?
The Six Daily Habits for Sobriety
Jen: Yeah. And so these are the six daily habits that help women, help the women in my groups. And we follow these every single day. And so it’s not like just quit drinking, because that’s our overall goal. But these are the habits to support that. So they’re gonna give women structure, they’re gonna give you structure. It’s gonna boost dopamine, which is what we’re seeking out in alcohol.
Now, not to the high artificially high level, but it’s gonna give us a sense of dopamine. It’s gonna improve our confidence, and then it fills the time spent while drinking. And so the first one is making sure you’re hydrated. So making sure you’re drinking at least half your body weight in ounces of water. Now that may sound simple, but so many people aren’t doing it. Now, number one, it’s gonna carry nutrients to your cells, it’s gonna cleanse your liver, it’s gonna help reduce that brain fog, increase that energy. And so tips.
Keep that water bottle with you everywhere. Okay. Try to get that water in in the first half of the day. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel when you have pure, simple water, half your body weight at least per day. And then the second one is reading 10 pages of a self-helper quit lit book. I’ve been doing this probably since 2018, 2017 when I started with Beach Body. This gives us.
It gave me so much clarity on why I am the way I am, why I did the things I did, and maybe why my parents did the things that they did. Because as Mile Angelo says, when you know better, you do better. And so we need this sober language in our ears, whether that’s through reading, well, of course I say 10 pages, or podcasts, keeping that sober language in your ears to remember why you’re doing this. Now, the third thing is gratitude. So every single morning or evening.
Write down five things that you’re grateful for from the past 24 hours. Now it’s easy to say, okay, I’m grateful for my health, I’m grateful for my family, that that doesn’t really get into it. And so what I want you to do is to get specific, is to look at the past 24 hours, or if you do this in the evening, look at your day and find these small little moments that brought you joy. Like for me, maybe there is the Las Vegas skinny pop at Walmart. And I thought they were out and I was gonna freak out. I’m like, my God, there’s one left. And I know you might say that’s that’s ridiculous, but that actually made my day.
Jen: Or, you know, maybe your husband like took the trash out today, you know, or us you actually put a little bit more creamer or you got some protein foam coffee in your Starbucks and you’re like, that was so stinking delicious. So this makes us look at what is going right.
Instead of complaining on what isn’t. And over time, you’re gonna start to seek that out. If you make this a daily practice, you’re gonna search for those things that are going right. Third thing or fourth thing is protein. Protein is really important, especially for women over 40, over 35, anybody making sure we’re eating protein for anyone, especially who is in the early stages of sobriety, but also just to maintain your blood sugar is to make sure you’re having protein around that 3 p.m. hour before your trigger hour, before that witching hour, which for a lot of people is around 5 p.m. Number number one, we don’t want to go into that hungry. You want to make sure your blood sugar is stable because when blood sugar is low, you’re going to get increased anxiety and increased cravings. So we can get ahead of that by making sure you have at least 10 grams of protein around that 3 p.m hour, depending on when was the last time that you ate.
Now, also, protein can boost dopamine, which is pretty freaking cool. Now, the fifth one is movement, which I’m really adamant about. Again, that’s actually how I got into sober coaching is through fitness. And so moving your body for at least 20 minutes of intentional movement per day. Now, this can start with walking. Maybe you’re a fitness pro fantastic. Walking, especially for your hormones and mental health, is
Huge. So you’ll see me if you follow me on Instagram. I’m outside walking almost every single day. You’re gonna get outside, you’re gonna get a the vitamin D, you’re gonna get a break, you’re gonna get a change of scenery, it’s gonna boost your confidence, it can help you process emotions. And number one, especially, it’s gonna reduce that stress. So we can reduce that that and stress, we can also process those emotions, get our blood flow.
It’s going to improve blood flow to our brain, which is very important in sobriety because alcohol decreases our blood flow to our brain. Exercise is the number one thing we can do to increase that blood flow again. The last thing is to check into a sober community. Every day, it doesn’t have to be you gotta have to go to a meeting every day. I don’t promote 90 meetings in 90 days. I want you to
Have a touch point, whether that’s a sober friend. In my groups, we do daily check-ins, just super easy. How are you doing? You can, like I said, go to a meeting, but this is our way to stay connected in some way, shape, or form. Because if you hang around a barbershop long enough, eventually you’re gonna get a haircut. Okay. We need to surround ourselves with other people who are also doing the thing that we’re doing. This is super important. So talk with a sober person, check in with someone, join a meeting.
Do a check-in, do a post inside a group. Whatever you need, have some form of a sober community in your back pocket. So six things, again, I’ll reiterate them: is making sure you’re hydrated, half your body weight in ounces of water, reading 10 pages per day, gratitude, five things you’re grateful for from the past 24 hours, protein around 3 p.m., at least 10 grams of good quality protein, like Greek yogurt, cottage cheese chicken sausage. I know a lot of women in my groups love a chomp stick because that’s 10 grams. Super easy to take on the go. Move your body for 20 minutes a day and then check into a sober community at least once a day.
Jake White: That’s awesome. That’s pa that’s possible. I could do that, right? That’s so cool.
Jen: Yes, you can do that, you guys. And with the intention
of the ROI of doing those things is going to give you so much more than if you say, I don’t have time. I don’t have time to do this. But you’re gonna get more time if you do these things, when you do these things. And I think one of the biggest benefits for your buck is that movement piece, you guys. That can just help your mindset, especially heading into the holidays or any stressful time or even a happy time. It’s one of the best things that you can do for your body and your brain.
Jake White: Well, and that’s why you call them habits, right? It’s like the habits you build into your life that continue to serve you, it it becomes something you don’t even think about. It’s just this is how I operate at my best and this is when I I feel amazing and I’m protecting myself. So it becomes part of you.
Jen: And these are great to stack, to have it stack at the beginning of your day. So morning routines are so important. And so are evening routines, but the work you do before the rest of the world wakes up, the work on yourself is going to set yourself up for a more productive day, for a day that you run instead of having the day run you. Instead of being pr reactive, you’re gonna be proactive with your day. So many of these things you can do in the morning.
And it doesn’t take a lot of time. So a lot of those I get done in the morning. And then I’m not pushed to the end of my list. And then I’m, you know, my willpower is done and I’m like freaking exhausted. so doing these things in the morning can set you up for an amazing day.
Jake White: Yeah. And I I don’t know if you’ve heard research on this or something, but I’m hearing the person in my head who says, Jen, I’m not a morning person or something like that. But I know for a fact that you can change your habits, that like we don’t just work for our comfort level. Like we we’re changing. Our brains are amazing. Do you do you find with your coursework when people are coming in and they’re maybe they’re giving you a little resistance, like, Jen, but and they’ve got a little bit of excuses and you challenge them and they start going. Is there a time frame when you’re like, this person is really getting it because they’ve been putting in the work?
Overcoming Challenges and Resistance
Jen: You know, I’ve realized women are all different. Some women come into my programs are like gung-ho. Heck yes, let’s go. Some women need to take baby steps. And so the thing is when they say they don’t have time, it’s just not a priority for them. Ever it you could say everyone has the same 24 hours. You know, you can’t really say that to a new woman with a newborn or or someone who’s not getting great sleep. I mean, sleep is actually super, I mean, it’s so important. I’ve worked on my sleep for the past three years. But with that, all these things, again, I try to make it where it doesn’t take a lot of time. And I try to give them all the tools that they need to be successful, but I also meet them where they’re at.
The most important habit, the most important tool is that you’re staying sober above all else. If you cannot, if you can give, there’s this quote that says, if you can only give 40% on that day the that’s your 100%. If you, you know, our our best is gonna look different every single day. And I like to meet women with where they’re at. The worst thing that I can have you do is get overwhelmed, think this is too much, and just quit. So for women who are starting out who are maybe like a crawler, I always give women three different paths, whether you’re a sprinter, a paceetter, or a crawler, you can start off with two of these. Don’t take you can’t you don’t have to take on all six all at once. Start with two and then build from there. So give yourself if
Jake White: That’s smart.
Jen: this seems too much, and there I also have a hundred day tracker if you want to download that. It’s a free tracker on my website to keep track of these habits. Cause actually even crossing these things off boosts dopamine. When you start showing up for yourself, it’s yes, I’m staying sober, but these are the things that are gonna help me to stay sober. So I don’t have to start
Jen: with all six. I can start with two and then build from there. Once I can establish that I can show up for these two habits, I can then maybe add on a third.
Jake White: That’s big. How how many times I try to say, like, I’m going to start doing all these things. And then I feel like a failure because I didn’t change 10 things at once. It’s like, no, do the one, habit stack the next, because you learned from the first time. And then you go on and all of a sudden you’re like, whoa, I’m a transformed person a couple months later. that’s really cool. I jen, I want to ask you before we go and send everybody your links and everything.
You have done such a great job of building your brand. Like as a as a fellow professional and there’s some people out here who are working on grants, they’re trying to promote recovery and sobriety. And I look at your page and I’m like, man, why is it so good? If you could give someone a tip on using their voice online, using social media to share about sobriety, what tips would you give them?
Using Social Media to Share Your Story
Jen: This is great. Be yourself as much as possible. I want, I would love if you would are trying to do this on social, stories are what people want to hear. To be real, to be vulnerable. I think in a world of AI, it’s easy to let Chat GPT write your stuff. But the more that you can share and take apart your story and share that from the heart.
You’re gonna start connecting. Even if you’re, you know, trying to get this and trying to sell this, people relate to stories. People relate to people being real and vulnerable. So start with your story. If you have not written your sober story yet, or any of those, or maybe you have people in your life that have their story, write down your sober story. This is actually the first thing that we do in my next program, sobriety 2.0, is writing down your story. I did this in every single treatment program that I went to, is to write that down and then share that.
Share about how you’re feeling, what you’re going through. That’s what people want to hear. Your story be as real as possible in your language. If you can, if writing is kind of hard for you, take the notes app out on your phone and voice message and start talking to text what you want to say and then go from there. So hopefully that was helpful. But the most important
Jake White: Yeah.
Jen: thing that I try to come back to is how can I share my story as much as possible and reiterate that.
Jake White: That’s so good. Thank you, Jen. I appreciate that.
Jake White: And for everyone who’s listening, I would love for you to connect with Jen if there’s any of the resources you found that were super helpful. She’s got so much more. so Jen, can you direct us somewhere to go if we want to follow you, check out your free resources, all that good stuff?
Jen: Yes, well you can get your 100-day tracker on my website. It’s jenhurst.com to check out there. you can go to my Instagram at Jen Lee Hurst, J-E-N-L-E-E-H-I-R-S-T for motivation and information on my programs. And that’s where I really like to hang out.
Jake White: Awesome. Well, Jen, I appreciate you and for everyone listening. Thank you for being in the work that you’re like that you’re doing, that you follow the podcast, that you’re listening and feeding yourself with this, all this positive things and the people that we get to meet because of it. if you love this episode, please share it with somebody who could use some note of encouragement, especially along their sobriety. And we will see you next Monday for another episode of the Drug Prevention Power Hour.
Connect with Jennifer Hirst
Website: https://jenhurst.com
Instagram: @jenleehirst
Organization: Lighthouse Sobriety
Free Resource: 100-Day Habit Tracker available on her website
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