“Empowering Youth Through Sober Parties: A Prevention Journey”

[00:00:08] Jake White: Hey what’s up prevention people? Welcome back to another episode of Party Talk, where we empower leaders in youth drug prevention. I’m so excited. Today’s episode, I’m going to share some of the secrets that people asked me for. And how do you actually get hundreds of students to attend parties that don’t serve alcohol or drugs, it seems to go against everything that we know about young people that they’re going to get into trouble, they’re going to find the worst possible thing and test it out. But the reality is, there are different types of students out there looking for different things. And even the ones who are using, they’re not using for the reasons that can’t be addressed. So there is hope for everyone out there. And I hope as you do your work, you’re finding this out. And you’re keeping hopeful because this work can be difficult sometimes. But I hope this episode can be really helpful for you. And we’re just basically going to dive into some of the techniques, strategies, the things that I’ve found out doing this work for the last 10 years, starting as a college student, who accidentally became a prevention person. This is work that I didn’t know I’d be doing, but I’ve always been passionate about. So let’s just dive in. 

“First of all, let’s just define like, what is a sober party. And what are people coming to a sober party is basically any excuse to get together and have a good time without using drugs or alcohol”, that’s how I define it. That’s how I share it with students when I asked them if they want to use our platform to do the same thing. And they liked that. So that’s the definition that I stick with, what’s an excuse for us to get together and have a good time without using drugs or alcohol. “And so we do this with partypoint0 and we do this with vive18, we promote this movement at schools, through speaking engagements, curriculum, peer led events, all this good stuff.” But I will just take you back, you can lean back and enjoy the story, because that’s how we’re going to learn what’s happened. So I’ll tell you the story. 

And then let’s gleam some of the things that we can learn from it that you can actually duplicate in your community. Because if you’re looking to engage young people in prevention, it can seem really daunting, how am I going to get them to think prevention is cool, and prevention is fun? It seems like it’s the opposite. Like, I’m going to suck the fun out of everything. But there is hope. I’m telling you, if we can get hundreds of students to party without drugs and alcohol, and get students to lead this movement, you can absolutely do the same thing in your community. And, there is hope for this kind of work. And working with this generation actually gives me more hope, and more affirmations that this is the right time to implement something like this, get them involved in it. So take you back, meet Jake white at age 18. I was not going to go to college. Because in high school, I’d become very cheap, very frugal, that something that stuck with me. And I saw a college as just as big expense, an expense that I didn’t know what I would do with it. Like I didn’t know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. So that summer, I actually worked a full time job and two part time jobs, just have something to do. It was fun. Jobs came up, I guess you make money after high school. So that’s what I’ll do. And I burned myself out. But during that experience, I basically said, Well, I can keep doing this for the rest of my life. Or maybe I’ll go to college and check that thing out. Because I think everyone I know who graduated college, they seem to only just have one job. So I’ll go check it out and see if I can find out what I might want to do with my life. 

“Creating Sober Parties: A Journey from College Student to Prevention Advocate”

Going through college, make a long story short, I had made my decision I’m not going to drink or smoke. I’m paying for school myself. So I don’t want to mess that part up. I’m very future focused. And I really wanted to learn how to make friends and have fun without relying on something else like a substance. Because I’d seen what that had done some of my family members. And so this decision was really going to set me up to have a different college experience. And it was tough, the first couple of years actually like going to parties and bars and everyone else drinks and I don’t. It comes with its own setbacks. And if you’re like that, too, I’m sure you know, you’d become basically a counselor too. Your friends, and people get on insecure because they’re drinking and you’re not. They think you’re judging them. And all these funny little quirks that happen when you’re the sober one at a party. A couple years go by, and I read this statistic. “This statistic says that there is actually about 25 to 30% of college students that are just like me.” They don’t drink, they don’t smoke. But in two years, I have not met a single person who has told me this. 

They said, “Yes, Jake, I don’t drink or smoke either. And I’m thinking that’s insane. How have I not met anybody like that, because I’m extremely outgoing.” I’m beating hundreds of people every year on campus. How come this isn’t something that people say, if they’re actually out there, like the statistic says, and I realize you don’t really, shout out or yell into a megaphone, hey, I’m different. I don’t belong, I’m not popular. I don’t conform to social norms. And so I figured maybe that this stat could be true. And if it is, these people are probably looking for a place to go just like me, I actually want to go to, parties and events, but not be pressured to drink and use drugs or not feel like an outcast. So there’s something that I want, I have to be willing to create it. And that was the motivation, like, Alright, I’m going to throw a party, house party without any drugs or alcohol. And I love the house party idea. Because it’s low cost, it’s dirty and grungy, it feels like a college thing to do. And there’s some adventure to it, going to someone’s Random House and party and like, who am I going to meet? What are we going to do? What are we going to play? There was all these cool adventures aspects of it that I really loved. And so that was the plan. I’m going to throw a house party without any drugs or alcohol and see who shows up. And I partnered with my friends, Steve, he’s so awesome. Just a good old Wisconsin boy. He likes his beer, cheese, and the Green Bay Packers, just like most, Wisconsin people. And he’s just such a great guy. And I was surprised he actually wanted to help me with this idea. Even though he drank beer. He just said, Jake, my freshman year, I used to drive home back to Green Bay, because I didn’t want to risk my studies or losing my scholarship or anything like that. And so he saw value in this idea, and that’s all you need, if you have a good idea, and one person validates it, you’re like, Alright, man, that’s great. Let’s go off to the races. 

And so we went out one day, and we basically met 129 people, and we invited them to a party that does not serve. And now the campus, let alone in Wisconsin. And at the end of the day, 120 people actually gave us their phone numbers, we were blown away, like 120 people out of 129 said yes to this idea. It didn’t seem to make sense. But I can share the secret. And a little bit on why we think they did said yes, and, how we’ve replicated those results in different places. But let alone, we had a list of people, list of phone numbers, and we were going to go out to basically promote this idea, and just make it happen. It was successful. So now we actually have to do it. We’ve got to throw this party. And if you’ve seen me speak, or if you’re on our Instagram channel for vive 18. And you heard this story probably, so I won’t go into it. But basically, we throw a terrible party, it is a big fail. 85 out of the 120 students show up, and we give them a horrible experience. But we learn from it. And throughout the semester, we keep getting better and better and better. 

We partner up with fraternities and do two parties with them. And that was an interesting to us because we didn’t think they would want a party sober. But they’re like, No, this is a cool idea. We’re about philanthropy, and yes, we party with alcohol sometimes, but let’s do this party sober thing and check it out. And so we did this great relationship with different Greek organizations, different school clubs we could partner with and hundreds of students, our parties went from 85 to 120 to 150 to 200. Eventually, when I started passing this along to other students and teaching them, they had parties up to 250. Indiana State University, I think had 600 at there First one. And now even teaching people these principles in middle school and high school, out in Bristol, Tennessee 300 middle schoolers partying in the gym after school, without any drugs or alcohol, under the banner of having a great time drug free. So this all to say that we’ve built a formula from something we thought would be impossible that we can replicate at schools and with student leaders all across the nation. And here’s what I’ll point out, there’s a couple just foundations of this working, and I just want to take you through those, if you want more, contact me, I’ll share more. But it really comes down to this number one, it has to be student led. If it’s student led, it’s seen as something that is current and cool. But if it comes from an adults like you or me, it’s like, Hey, you had your time, you’re like that uncle or older cousin figure. You’re like a mom or dad, grandpa, we don’t want to party with you. No offense. That’s the case of this. So having a student led is the foundation of this program. Then another thing that we do differently. 

And this is I’m just taking a couple of tips from each section. But in promotion, “One of the unique things that we do in promotion, is we don’t rely on social media, we don’t rely on flyers and advertisements, because all those things are great for people to see them.” But studies have shown, you can see an ad, walk us an ad, seven times not even think twice about the message. Like that many times. So it seems a waste of resources. Instead, what we like to do is take our student leaders, teach them how to invite people, and let the power of the word of mouth and enthusiasm do the work for them. And that’s why we build lists, too. Because once you have a student’s phone number, or however they communicate, so the lists could actually be a list of Snapchat accounts or a list of Instagram accounts. But once you have that, you can promote throughout the entire year, at no additional cost, no additional effort, you just send them the information. So really, really important that we teach students to do it that way. And also what’s really nice is depending on how they’re invited, that’s actually the first impression of what you’re doing. So if their first impression is, on the other hand, seeing a flyer or an advertisement, they’re going to think, well, you’re just like every other business or person who’s trying to recruit me, that doesn’t feel genuine. 

But on the other hand, if you’re invited by a friend, by a peer to a party and an event, that sounds fun, that sounds like people actually want to hang out with you, you might feel valued and included and good about yourself. That’s what we want people to feel when they hear about our events. “So that’s one thing that’s really, really unique that you can take away from this, is teaching your students in prevention, how to invite people to do this, how to invite their friends to get involved in prevention, and do the work or go to your events that you’re hosting.” That’s step one is in promotion, then we go to the event. So just like the first impression of the invitation is a big deal, because it sets up that feeling they’ll associate you with. The other thing I teach them is “How do we set up a good first impression of our party?” The way you’re going to do this is you’re going to specifically manage what someone is going to like think about it as soon as they walk out of their, their vehicle or they walk up to your venue or they get dropped off. What are they going to see? What are they going to hear? And what are they going to feel? If they get out of their vehicle or if they come up to your events. And they don’t hear anything. They don’t see any people. So therefore what they probably feel that is maybe I’m in the wrong spot. Is there actually an event here today? Or worse, there is table setup. There’s an event but there’s not people having fun. They might feel like this isn’t going to be a good experience for me. So the best thing that you can do is when you think about your event, imagine people as soon as that first impression they’re coming out of their cars. How we do this is we actually have some hype people out there giving high fives like at the door of our events, we want somebody given a high five saying, Hey, what’s up so glad that you’re here. 

Again, we want them to feel that sense of I belong, i am validated, I’m good enough, this is cool, I’m accepted. It brings back those good feelings. “A high five really releases serotonin and endorphins in their brain.” So it’s actually like this chemical high that they feel without any drugs or alcohol. So we’re creating this experience for them as soon as they walk in, or soon as that first impression. “Another thing is we tell our students start the music 30 minutes early.” So if anybody shows up early, they know this is fun, this is good vibes, we’re going to have a great time. The final thing is that you want to get people involved in your party or your event right away. So if they’re standing around, they’re probably just going to be thinking about when they can leave. But if you can grab them into a game, into a competition quickly, then they will not have time to think about leaving, they’re just going to be having fun as soon as they arrive, they’re just going to be like, you’re going to have to kick them out. And that’s a good problem to have, people spend so much time at your event, you got to kick them out. That’s fantastic. “So that’s, step one is setting that first impression, make sure they hear music, they see people having fun, and they feel accepted for being there.”

And you can use those tips, put those energetic people that everyone loves to see, put them out by the entrance. So they’re welcoming people in, have another one of those outgoing people, passing you out a sign in sheet or a sign up sheet for a competition, grabbing those students and just getting them into a game right away. “And the games need to be played either in teams, where you can involve four or more people at a time. So that people can jump in and get involved right away.” Because you don’t want to have a looking from the outside feeling intimidated, you need to be able to pull them in right away. So that first game when people walk up, it needs to be that game that people can just jump into. Alright, now we’ve talked about the invitation. That’s a great first impression and gets people feeling good, and you can promote to them throughout the year, we’ve talked about that first impression of the party, and how you build that environment. Finally, is how you keep them there and leave a lasting impression? “So you keep them there with the competitions with free food and drinks.” And your goal throughout this whole night is to help people make one new friend and have one new experience. If they do that, they are going to be so hyped about that day, they will keep coming back to your events, every time you have one, you send out that text or that message. They’re there. And they’re probably going to bring friends because they’re talking about how fun it was. “So one new friend, one new experience, it could be a simple thing as like, we have a new theme.” So you’re going to dress up or we have a new game, we’re introducing or competition. 

And then you’re using that experience to introduce new people to each other. So you might have them team up with different people. Maybe they come with a friend, that’s a partner. And then they partner up with another two people. And so they have a comfort zone of a friend they already know. But they’re meeting some new people that they don’t know, is when I think about events actually this is a big lesson. If you’re doing prevention, do not hire a band for everyone to go just watch or a comedian for someone to go watch or go to a movie that people watch. That way they’re sitting in rows, and they’re all looking at the stage. So they’re getting in or entertained for an hour, but they’re not looking at each other. They’re not building connections. “Instead, you want to have events that create circles, where people are looking at each other, they’re meeting each other, they’re interacting with each other.” And picking the venue actually is really important because you can facilitate with a smaller venue, you have more opportunities for students to run into each other to overhear conversations about things they like. So you’re just building opportunities for them to really connect versus if your venue is too big. 

It can be really easy to just remove yourself and go into your comfort zone and sit on the wall. And then people will just say, hey, the party was terrible, when in reality the party was great. It’s just that we didn’t build in. Since people don’t have the courage to walk up to other people and make friends. We need to have a smaller venue and force them to do it by the environment if that makes sense. So all that to say and that was a sign tangent that is also in our training. But as we build those experiences, we’re trying to get them to make new connections. Competitions are a great way to do it. Food and Drinks are another way that help. Finally, when you leave, if there’s new people coming to your event, you want to try to capture their information, for your list. So they become part of your promotion Army, and making get new people in next time. So that was very quick, very simple, I took one lesson for each section in our training, but it is was cool, and you want to know more, go to vive18.com, go to partiesyour.org. You can get in touch with us either way. And, we’re super passionate about this work, because getting youth involved in this work is number one priority. It’s the sustainability of the work that we do. If we’re not getting them involved, we are setting them up for failure. And we’re going to keep being frustrated. “Gen Z, this generation is eager to make a difference in the world.” And for us to give them a platform to do it is a no brainer. We desperately need this. And if you need help getting youth engaged, getting them involved. That’s exactly what we do. So just reach out to us. We’d be happy to help you out with that. There we are. Another episode of Party Talk. I hope you enjoyed yourself and learn something in the process. We’ll see you next Monday for another episode. Hopefully this can become part of your morning commute. If you’re going to work you need to get pumped out about your work and the day and the impact you’re making. Just to remember that you are doing life saving work and activities and the stuff that you do is having a lasting effect. Feel free to connect with us. And thank you for listening to the Party Talk podcast, where we empower leaders in drug prevention. See you next time.