“Empowering Youth Through Transformation: The Roger Munchian Story”

[00:00:00] Jake White: Welcome back to Party Talk where we empower leaders in youth drug prevention. This episode is with Roger Munchian. He’s the founder of rescued, not arrested. I love this because he explains all the work that he’s doing around the globe, how he’s helping people in the juvenile justice system, just the restorative programs that he’s using, helping people find housing and jobs, just really, really impressed by everything that he’s got going on. And being such a small organization. So if you’re in prevention, and feel like you’re running with a small team, or maybe it’s just you, I think this episode is going to give you some hope. And the things that we don’t talk about that I would really, really encourage you to dive into his book, it’s also called “Rescued, Not Arrested”. But he probably is too modest to tell you certain things about what he was able to do at a very young age, being an immigrant coming to the United States, basically, getting involved in the drug trade, being a millionaire while he’s a teenager, then turning that around, through new choices, and basically running an organization where he doesn’t even pay himself. But he’s making a global impact. And so, really look up to him. And I know you’re going to love this episode with Roger Munchian. Hello, welcome to Party Talk, where we empower leaders in youth drug prevention. Today, I’ve got an awesome guest, his name is Roger. And I don’t even want to preview his story. It’s amazing. He’s going to tell it, he tells it all over the world. But let’s just jump in. Roger, thank you for being on the show with me. And would you go ahead and just tell everybody a little bit about yourself? 

[00:01:45] Roger: Well, it’s a blessing to be here, thank you for the opportunity to be able to share my story and somehow bring hope and help to help us and help others out there, especially those youth out there. Well, my story began with not having a very stable upbringing, and hence, my youth was destroyed because of identity issues. Looking to fit in, where I was only eight years old, when I moved to the projects of Los Angeles, from Russian communist regime at the time, it was called Armenia, but under the Russian control, and we were lost and confused. So trying to fit in, the barriers, there was the obstacle, whether it be the language, whether it be the culture, in the dress way, but I think to be able to fit in and find love, at the right places is key. And I didn’t have that. So that took me a whole different route in the world, I found my identity in the streets became really quick, very good at it. I have a gift of entrepreneur and trafficking, and sales and networking. And so I did really well became very wealthy in selling drugs on the streets and, and just networking gangs and cartels eventually, in creating my own empire. But it all came crashing down. And the information for the US and others now is to share my story that eventually these things catch up with you. Bad choices, will bring consequences. And the question is when and how deep is that consequence going to be? So mine was a mess, a lot of car accident. And no matter how much money I had, I could not bail myself out of that mess at age 25. And eventually, that was my moment of truth where I did something bigger than my money and my understanding. And that’s when I decided to reevaluate life purpose and direction, found God and Jesus was really the big deal in my life at that point. And I decided to start a ministry now to help others with my experiences.

[00:03:50] Jake White: And I’ve read your book and we’ve met a couple times but rescued not arrested. Is your main message. And can you tell us a little bit about the work that you’re doing right now using your story and what it’s doing for others? 

[00:04:04] Roger: Again, just to clarify, we have a unique structure of our ministry, we decided to have a no paid staff on purpose because greed and money was one of my thoughts in my past life. So we do have this unique structure, every volunteer serves because they have a passion to give, including me but the message itself rescued not arrested is my life story. I was ultimately rescued through an arrest, not the first or second but eventually one that put me in a jail where I could help myself, we are self enabled, self entitled for too long. And that hurts actually, enabled especially growing up as kids that really puts us in a bad position to fall when we kept enabled anymore. So we make some bad choices. But again, I self enable but eventually that’s how I was rescued through the arrest and the book, we are reraising and rewriting and updating the book. So in a year and a half, maybe one because it’s 10 it’s been 10 years since the updates. I think a lot of what’s been going on since then. 

[00:05:17] Jake White: Well, I remember, when I was reading it, it’s a crazy book, like your life was insane. I think about the shows that I watch. And I think that this can’t be based on real life. But then when I read your book, I was like, well, it’s not based on my life. But this things can happen, depending on where you came from. And like you said, when you came to LA at first or wherever you went, like you said your main concern was fitting in. And you found that community and a pretty unhealthy place, and unhealthy culture. And I’d love to dive in right there. Do you think that times have changed, or are students still facing the same things? 

[00:06:08] Roger: I think technology has changed. But we have the same problem. I think the fact that we want to fit in and be loved and belong, it’s easy to go back to the very beginning, whatever that looks like for you. But, I think that’s a common denominator for all humans, no matter of fate, creed, or background. I think we all want to be special, we want someone to care about us. And when you don’t have that, you’re desperate enough to take the very first option, even if it’s an unhealthy one. And try to drawstring from that. I was eight, nine years old. I didn’t know better. My dad was an alcoholic. He served time in Gulag prison, Siberia. So I got tired of hearing those stories, but had PTSD issues and i have to deal with it, they have after effects of that. I’m sure a lot of kids who are in trouble. If something’s wrong with the house upbringing, there’s some kind of a brokenness, some kind of a something, some scars and abuses of different kinds and never fails, everywhere I go speak, it’s very parallel. It hurts of our upbringings. But that was an excuse for me for a long time. But as a kid, didn’t have guidance, enough mentors, didn’t have healthy outlets. So I latched on to what I did have, or what I did understand. And I didn’t understand much about consequences. So I learned the hard way always. I’m trying to be better now and not to learn from hard ways making sure that happens. But the reality is, every human, especially those kids, they’re looking to be hugged, they’re looking to be loved, they’re looking to belong. And if they don’t find it in a healthy environment, the unhealthy is always welcoming and inviting them. 

[00:07:55] Jake White: And what’s amazing about your story, too, is that like you said you’d got in to trouble a few times before, got and caught by the police for various things. But there was a moment when you had gone to prison, you didn’t see a way that you could get yourself out. And I’m just curious, because probably people are listening are like, how do you go from a life of, I’m dealing drugs, I’m using these, I’m in this environment? What is that moment when you realize that it wasn’t going to sustain you or things had to change? Can you take us to that moment? 

[00:08:36] Roger: It was not just a moment, I will say it’s a process. And it’s always going to be a process just like our fault. Our fault that happen because of one bad choice. It’s a process of bad choices that eventually escalates and takes us deeper into the lala land. But to me, I believe it was a culture shock, just like coming to the US was a culture shock. It was a culture shock to all of a sudden not be able to have the money and the access and the control over my life when I’m arrested and have no bond facing capital punishment case. I think that was important because I had a ton of money again, I had a lot of lawyers, which is a unique situation. And I can’t dependent on that. So I was my own god, my money was the answer to everything. So the 1997 mass lot of car accident case, was the initial start of the process. I actually got away miraculously, and that’s why it made me a believer of something bigger than money, because miracles happened and I walked away from that case. It was the next case that really did me in which was making the choice to walk away from the cartels and a network of traffic, tons of weed nationally, was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. It was my source of income. It’s like walking away from a lifestyle of yachts, planes, and all everything that you want, I was 25 years old, and walking away from that, and having the freedom to not but yet, knowing if you don’t, this was a big warning of something to come. And I can’t keep that lifestyle going. So that was the difficult hurdle for me, finding that situation. And, many have heard once you’re involved in cartels, you can’t walkout and it’s very true. Because a lot of times, you’re monitoring, that a lot of times, you know, too many people, you’re too deep involved in the reliability when you walk away. So these things were all true for me. But I had to make a choice, because I realized, ultimately, we’re all going to die, I get to choose how I died, if I’m going to change my life to be a model for my kids. And at the time, I was already married. So things that happen where I got married, where I wasn’t previously. And so I had a new family responsibility. So the tough choice was, I’m going to choose the right thing, even if it means I will die, because that’s the right decision. So it was a difficult risk taking choice. But it was the one that I had to make. Because I want to leave a good legacy for my kids, they were infants. My second wasn’t even born yet. But the reality is, that was a choice I had to make, we all have to come to a conclusion in our lives, and make a choice that we don’t want to do this anymore. Unless we make that choice, nobody else is going to really be able to influence us one way or another. They can help us with opportunities and resources. But to make the choice that you want to change at you don’t want that lifestyle. It’s going to take a drastic trial like it did my life. And then we have to choose whether we want to go back to that or not. So these are the processes that I had to deal with. It wasn’t a one day thing. It was month, year after year. Once I walked away, that never happened, the ring got busted by the DEA, FBI agents, it was a big sting operation nationally. And I got drawn into that case, because I was part of that organization in past. Even I walked away, back to the story of consequences can still catch up with you later down the road. Even if you change your life. I tell the the youth now especially in where we have a presence like, look, even if you change your life doesn’t mean the consequences cannot catch up with you. And that’s my story there. And so I got indicted under the RICO statute federal indictments in 2000. For the past whatever happened in early 90s, of networking and racketeering, and, money laundering and all stuff. I was involved, in some I wasn’t, but they put the sting operation and obviously, they put all, they pile everything up on everyone. Eventually, I ended up miraculously only serving two years in prison for that through a plea negotiation. And that was only because the prosecutor on my case, had an assassination attempt on her. And she was taken off the case because she just wasn’t going to let up on me. And I believe even that was a divine moment not that it was good that happened. But I think timing when the Mexican Mafia actually put that hit on her, because she was a very notorious prosecutor, going after cartel leaders. It actually unhooked me from our clutches as well. But they eventually got busted. They were able to find evidence and stuff or bust the cartels. But she got off the case, which really gave me an opportunity for a second chance. I signed a seven year plea agreement, the judge overruled and we’re actually again, and I only served two years in Arizona state prison. Louis, which is where I had this whole revelation of starting this ministry, to bring positive influence to people with my gift of networking and trafficking. And I tell people I used to traffic tons of weed, now I traffic, tons of Bibles and books nationwide, promoting forgiveness, love and healthy living. So it’s been an amazing journey. 

[00:14:04] Jake White: That’s really cool. That’s an amazing story. I’m curious too, because you have inside prisons, juvenile detention centers, things like that, is what do you think that students are facing today? Maybe you’re seeing a common theme of what they’re struggling with? And what they need help with? 

[00:14:28] Roger: Well, I think they’re facing the same thing I was, hopelessness and helplessness because of the brokenness in our families. Usually, it starts with the family, I have to go back to that root problem. If we can be proactive and start educating the family before they have kids, how to bring up kids and maybe going back for that and not having these issues, or at least avoiding some of these issues that brings scars and brokenness into family’s lives. At least some education before marriage or whatever. But my point is, sometimes we just can’t avoid it, it’s there. And so they have to deal with those scars. So I think loving mentorship and accountability support system, but to be able to connect with kids, it’s not easy. I work with kids in Adobe, who are very hard, they actually sometimes even feel like they’re doing the right thing. They’re very proud to be involved, like their dad gangster, or what have you. So to break that curse, has to come through trials like it did with me, I think majority are not going to learn just because somebody tells them too. I know I didn’t. So I think being available to them, when we have an opportunity is key, sharing stories that can relate with their lifestyle. And that’s why I think my story has been able to connect and build bridges with kids who are broken, because they’re like, Well, this guy had been there, done that. And so they seem to be a little bit more attentive when I speak to them. But they hardly listened to anybody else, because they feel like no one really understands what they go through, what they’ve been through. And so I think bringing stories to them, to connect with their hurt or pain, the empathy, the sympathy, and all that stuff will be a good start with the kids, because they’re dealing with those brokenness, they’re still dealing with finding somebody to love them for reals, they’ve broken all trust factor. So there’s no trust, a fiber of trust in their heart for anyone, they don’t know who to trust. So it’s going to be a process in any case, but I think connecting with them through fun events, and music, food, friendship, is going to be a key to get them to the next level. 

[00:16:51] Jake White: Just even doing the small work that I have in the juvenile detention centers, doing zoom sessions, sharing stories, teaching them, that you could achieve these goals. You’re smart, some of you have ran businesses before. Some of you have got yourself into trouble, but like in pretty clever ways. And you can use this in another way, you can have a hopeful future because you’re smart, you’re bright, you’re resilient, you’ve been through more already than most people will go through throughout their entire life. And I bet having, like you said, loving mentorship and accountability, like you mentioned, storytelling, it shows them that they’re not alone, that there is hope. They can get themselves out of the situation, if they have a partnership, as somebody who cares about them. And I think that’s what’s really rewarding about the work that we do, is seeing those students, maybe when even first you meet them, you’re a little bit terrified, you’re like, How can I help this person, and for me, I’m like, I need to pray right now. Because I cannot help this person at all. God, find a way to use me to do it. Because, I’m at a loss, I can’t relate. I haven’t been through all those things. But at the end of the day, if you’re somebody who’s willing to stick around, or to keep a connection open, where they can be honest with you, and share what’s going on, you can listen to them, and tell them that, you’re not a problem, that you’re not a bad person, you made some mistakes, and we can do better. I think you’re right, it’s going to help change people’s lives and young people’s lives, so that they can build a better future. 

[00:18:40] Roger: Relationship is what I hear you saying over and over again, it’s all about relationship really, a relationship is not a short term, and relationship is an ongoing commitment. With a marriage, is better or worse. So we have to really think about it that way with these kids, it’s got to be for better or worse, because it’s not going to be all peaches and roses. These are broken people with some stuff. And it’s not fun dealing with stuff with kids, believe me. But when you commit to loving and caring someone’s, they are loved, is that commitment, commitment is necessary. And you’re right, I’m glad that you brought that up, half of my volunteers can’t relate with some of these individuals, but the fact that they’re willing to show up, over and over and over, and care and love and guide and bring awareness, goes a long way. You don’t always have to relate to make a difference. But to love, is the key but again, there’s always fine lines in those making sure that we’re not enabling what we’re loving, we’re not entitling why we’re loving, and that there’s a filter system in place so that at least the vault is protected from all the manipulations as well. So having that on both sides of the fence, with those in mind, these kids need help and support more than ever, but they need people to show up and commit.

“Transforming Lives Through Reentry and Faith-Based Support”

[00:20:00] Jake White: I want to move into something Roger that I know that you’re doing which is your work in reentry, and trying to, help students once they are in that situation, build a better future. And I’m curious if you have any helpful tips from what you’re doing in reentry that other people can model after or learn from? 

[00:20:19] Roger: Well, reentry became a big buzz in our country here in the last 6, 7, 8 years and our state here, Governor Ducey was looking for some partners to start with it. And we were able to step up and partner with them. And we’re still involved in the reentry of Arizona procreation, there’s a juvenile corrections and accounting systems. But really, there’s three key components that we highlight with reentry, our reentry, even though we are a Christian nonprofit, we have found a way the love and reach and help all audiences regardless of faith, background, regardless of criminal history, think that’s really the amazing thing about what we’re doing through the reentry component, because our message is, I’m Christian, but I’m not passing like, I’m not going to push my conviction on you, I’m here to love you, would you give me an opportunity to get you a job? Would you give me an opportunity to get you a healthy housing, when you get released, would you give me an opportunity to find your healthy support system. So that’s our message to the audience’s that we’re about to be released. So the reentry cuboid is reaching people within, eight weeks a year that are about to be released. And one thing that we do is let them know the reality, this is not easy, this is going to be take hard work, you still got to do all the work. There’s not a name enablement system, this is something that you do have to, roll up your sleeves and get ready to work hard and pursue, because this won’t come in easy as you sleep and you are retaining all stuff, updating the stuff. So, we’re real with them initially, with about all we do is provide opportunities, you have to want it, you have to stay clean, and you have to desire to change your life. But if you do that, and you take our advice, we have green lights and companies, where are you ASAP, regardless of your fate, regardless of your current ministry, we have places that will house you, again, regardless of these things. And we have places that will hold you accountable, whether it be faith based or non faith based support systems, and we’re here to help you plug in, if you’re interested in change, then you want to commit to that. So we leave the ball at their court, they have to want to drop a clean UA, when they go to work, they have to want to show up to work on time, and they’re going to have to want to do the job. I let them know that I can’t do all that stuff for you, but I could get your hire. We have built relationships with company owners, we have built relationships with housing complexes, and we have been a list of apartments, as young adults that come out 17, 18. When they got into life, so they may be youth, but they still got adult responsibilities. Because most of them have no family, they burn all those bridges. So these kids really have to, basically, they’re in an adult mentality, adult environment. And if they don’t have those resources, that support system, is not going to happen. So that’s what our reentry components, is those three things, in the foundation of the three is the support system, is mentorship, and a something that they’re willing to commit to that will hold them accountable, a sponsor a mentor, that is willing, that they are willing to be transparent with and allow them to help guide them with wisdom, and some good counsel. 

[00:23:36] Jake White: Well, hearing about what you’re doing, gives me a lot of hope. Because I’m barely in the area that you are in. And so sometimes when we’re in prevention, we can hear about what’s going on and think Man, this problem is way too big. And it’s cool to learn about people, like we’re in the same state, but even all around the country who are doing this kind of work, that we’re making a small dent, and, changing people’s lives. And so what’s really cool, and I want to just highlight this before I ask you my last question is that you’ve told us about reentry, you’re working inside the juvenile justice departments and systems. And so I just want to highlight to for anybody who’s listening to this, and you’re on the prevention side, and you’re in schools or anything like that, and just hearing your story, Roger, and knowing that faith is actually a proven, a protective factor against not only smoking, drinking and drug use, but even to just build resilience because students are going to go through trauma at some point in their life. And resilience is a really important skill. And we’re seeing record amounts of suicidal thoughts and depression. And faith is one of the best protective factors. It’s in the list of the top ones. And so our country can say like, keep that yourself. But it’s really brave Roger, because you’re saying, No, I’m going to not keep it to myself, I think can help people. So I’m going to share it. But I’m not going to push it on you, because this is your decision. It’s your journey. But I’m going to share how it helped me, I’m going to help you in tangible ways, like you said, finding a house, finding a job. Like they can’t do that on their own, they don’t have those connections. So you’re doing a really great job of serving people, loving people well, sacrificing your own time, money, to do these things. Because you believe in what you’re doing. And so my last question, I definitely want to ask you is, as you see all the difficult things, this things that students go through, what gives you hope that, we’re making a difference, and to keep going doing this work?

[00:25:51] Roger: Well, I want to answer that question by chiming into your last statement you made, being a person that grew up in probably one of the darkest neighborhoods of our country, really not having any hope in anything but money. God was just a label. It was just a traditional thing. I inherited birth, it was never reality in my life. Like I said that there was a lack of belonging, a lack of identity. And I thought I needed it in money, and sex, and drugs, and all these things. And unfortunately, like I said, I learned everything, the hard way, that it wasn’t in these things that I found satisfaction. But in fact, until the miracles started happening, and I don’t know, why God chose to do these crazy miracles time after time after time to unhook me with death from death brought from life in prison, if it were bullets of my name, when you read the book there was a shoot out, people got killed, I should have been one of the guys. So after all these experiences, what about I’m not pushing my conviction that we want to make sure we don’t do that, because it’s a sensitive world and how people perceive things. But I have to tell my story. And my story is, I looked for satisfaction, peace and joy in all the things the world had to offer me. And I couldn’t find it all the way to the millions of dollars. And I couldn’t find it. And when, through these experiences, I finally broke down and wondered if that was real, all sudden, pursuing that, I found the very thing I was always looking for. And I couldn’t self-satisfied. And I had that peace. I had that joy. And you mentioned what is the drive? Well, he is the reason I believe I have the internal drive, to do something for free, to show that this is more than just money or program, this is a drive beyond myself, to go out there make a difference. And I believe, as you read the Bible in Jesus story, that’s what he did, he gave his life for everybody. So I feel that’s what it’s all about, the little bit of life I have left, I got to give, to make a difference. And that’s when it hit me, this is the satisfaction. This is where I found the peace, that joy, that satisfaction that I could not find the millions, in the sex, in the stuff of this world. Hence, it became a reality for me. So faith is a component, is the only thing that got me in a position where I was finally satisfied with purpose on earth. And hence why for 20 years now, I’ve served for free intentionally, and he keeps up, I can never give, but he keeps providing our needs more than we deserve. But again, I wanted to chime in on that, because this is my life story. This is what I experienced. But again, knowing my upbringing in the confusion in this world, to hold on to something to satisfy myself, I have to tell my story of why I do what I do now, and why I do it for free. So hopefully that answered my drive for this. And yes, it is filled with, a lot of rewards. I have to tell you, though, if I was only codependent to see results. I would be disappointed. I would have quit the first year. Hence why the purpose I have in God’s divine purpose, is what keeps me going. Because I realize I’m making a difference. And I’m pleasing God, I am doing the right thing, regardless whether it’s welcomed, or whether it’s applied. You know what we do see some good results. We do have great transformation stories impacted by our ministry. But really the bottom line is, that’s not the thing that we hold on to move forward. We do what we do, because we believe this is who we are. This is our purpose, regardless of the results and the feedback from these kids. 

[00:29:41] Jake White: And that’s so awesome. Because you’re saying that God’s giving you the resilience, the same resilience that we’re asking these kids to have. And now you get to model it for them with the work that you do. And thank you for doing that Roger. Wasn’t that awesome? We’ll see you next week for another episode of Party Talk, where we empower leaders in youth drug prevention. Have a great week.

So that’s why I’m passionate about this. And I’ll tell you a little bit more lately. And what I’m doing today, and why I wanted to start this podcast. But if you’re here, I want to tell you who this podcast is for, also who it’s not for, and what you can expect from each episode. Again, I’m going to talk about who I am and why I decided to do this. Then finally, if you decided to stick around up to that point, I’ll share how you can get the most from this podcast, so that you can make a better impact on young people in your community. So let’s dive right in.

Who this podcast is for?

If you’re a school administrator, principal, vice principal superintendent, or maybe you’re a school counselor, if you’re a professional who works in AODA substance abuse prevention, coalitions. 

Maybe you do social emotional learning, or SEL, in schools. Maybe you’re focused on building a positive school culture, or you work with the Pybus model, Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports, if you are a health teacher, school psychologist, social worker, if you’re in law enforcement, or maybe a school resource officer, an SRO. If you’re on the school board, if you’re a concerned parent, if you’re part of the PTA, or PTO in your community. If you work in Human Services Department in your county, or state, or maybe you’re in higher education, you’re with First Year Experience, orientation, student life, conduct, dean’s office, Greek life or athletics, or finally, just somebody who cares about young people. And you’re really passionate about keeping them safe from addiction. If I said, one of those things, and that fits your role professionally, or maybe a volunteer role, then you’re going to love this podcast.

Who this is NOT for…

Now, before I get too far into, what we’re doing on the podcast, there’s some people that are not going to like this podcast, and you’re not going to benefit from it, because we’re not a good fit. This podcast is not for everyone. So if you’re one of those people who says, you know what? Kids will be kids, they’re going to use drugs, and there’s nothing we can do about it. If people say, hey, that’s just a part of growing up. That’s what our culture does, we’re not going to change it. This podcast is not for you. If you think that prevention is just a box you check, so that you can get paid and move up the rank in your job and to say you did something this year. This podcast is not for you.

Party Talk IS for…

But if you have gone above and beyond, if you believe that students, they want to feel acceptance and belonging, they want structure and safety to thrive, and that we can find creative and innovative ways to help them get what they want out of life, but also keep them happy, healthy and safe. Then you might have actually been searching for things online, like how to talk to your kids about drugs, how to prevent drug use in your school? How to build a positive, safe school culture? You might have searched for things like drug prevention programs that work or ideas for Red Ribbon Week. If that’s been you, you are exactly where you need to be.

What is the Party Talk Podcast all about?

I’m not just going to interview experts who’ve written books and they speak all over. I will interview some of them. But I also want to interview people like you and me who are working with youth every single day – who are in the field. You’re talking with students, you’re finding out what they’re struggling with, what their challenges are? What’s working, what’s not working? What are people doing in schools, in homeless shelters, in group homes, in juvenile justice programs? What are you seeing? What’s good. What needs improvement? What can you pass along to your colleagues? What can you share that’s helpful? 

So the purpose of this is to really build community and help everybody in this field do better. Because the reality is, our competition. These companies that want to sell drugs, to our young people, they’re looking for lifetime customers. And they’re spending millions of dollars to try and make that happen. And it’s going to take either millions of dollars or millions of hours to combat that work. Newton taught us that an object in motion will stay in motion, unless its acted upon by equal and opposite force. So if these companies are pouring all these resources into getting our students to use drugs, and they’re employing some of the smartest minds, psychologists, advertisers, researchers, to convince our young people to use, it’s going to take an equal and opposite force to combat that. And that’s where you and I come in. What we are doing is saving lives.

How Jake White accidentally stumble into prevention work?

Now, again, I got into this work by accident, but I have fell in love with prevention. It started in college, I lost my uncle to addiction, and had seen him growing up going into hospitals, in and out of jail, and eventually lose his life, to his relationship with alcohol and drugs. And I just thought, that’s not something I want to copy. I’m going to try and I’m going to live a life drug free. And it was just a decision for me, not for anybody else. But as I went through college, I found out how socially isolating that could be, it’s hard to make friends, it was hard to feel like I fit in. I often thought it would be easier if I just went with the culture. I just did what people expected me to do. But again, I had seen where that led. And so a couple years went by, and as outgoing as I am. I didn’t meet anybody who was like me, who said, “Jake, I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. You’re not alone.” I didn’t meet anybody like that. But I had read a statistic that actually said about one out of every three college students was just like me. They’re sober, they don’t drink, and they don’t smoke. They’re living drug free lives. And I thought, “That’s crazy. How could I have gone two years and not meet one of these people? I’ve met hundreds of people.” And then it hit me. Well, we don’t normalize and glamorize healthy behavior. 

We normalize and glamorize drug use, because that’s where the money is made. So if I learned to be silent about my decision, and if those other people are out there, they’re probably looking for a place to go, a place to hang out, make friends, have fun, and build community to feel valued and included. They want the same things. And I want it too, so I can’t wait on someone else to create this environment for us that I’m desperately desiring, I’ve got to go ahead and do it. So long story short, I started throwing those parties I was telling you about earlier. And success quickly followed not because I’m talented, but because no one else was filling this need. And it was crazy to learn how everybody desires the same things. But they seemed like they only had one option, see if I want to be accepted and belong and to have fun. I go to these parties where people smoke and drink. It seemed like that was the only option. As soon as I started inviting people to “Option B”, where you could be yourself, not have to take anything, or risk your friends or your future. 

But you can just come here and hang out, make friends, feel good, theres’s a lot of people who wanted that as well, like they would try that. And a lot of them liked it. And today I do speaking across the country, to middle schools, high schools, colleges, but I love doing the work of giving each audience a new perspective, or at least help them consider their choices, so that they’re fully informed choices. And so that’s why I do speaking engagements and presentations and assemblies. That’s why we have a curriculum. That’s why we have a peer led programming, where we teach students to throw their own drug free events and basically show their peers you can have a good time and fit in. And so I thought would be a great way to get people together to learn from one another, to share strategies techniques, share what’s working and what’s not working, so that we can better do our jobs without repeating the same mistakes.

How do you get the most from this Party Talk podcast?

I would say number one, subscribe to the podcast. Number two, pick a time on your calendar, your weekly calendar. And maybe just put a reminder, listen to the new episode each week. Because what I found is listening to that podcast in our field keeps us energized, it keeps us trying new things, it keeps us focused on doing our best and not just getting complacent on the way things were. And then say hello to each other. Get involved, we’re going to be starting different communities and ways that we can hang out with each other, and learn from one another, not just on the podcast, but we can connect online and in person. And then if there’s an episode where you’re like, “I really want to know more about this. Can you look into it? Can you interview this person?” Please tell me about that. Because we are the ones who are in the field doing the work. But I’m only experiencing my portion of it, you’re experiencing something new. So if you know somebody who would be a great guest on the podcast, or you think you’d be a great guest on the podcast, and have something, you’d want to share. Please let me know. We can absolutely do that.

Thank you!

Finally, I just want to say thank you, I want to say thank you because I believe that you’re going to save lives. The work that you are doing today is saving lives. And in case no one told you thank you yet. Thank you! Our students want a great future. But because they have adults in their life, who are investing in them, who say I’m going to have a difficult conversation with you, but I care about you so much that I’m willing to put on programming for you. I’m willing to show up every day in your life. I’m willing to spend time, money, resources, energy and learning to help you make great decisions. You’re the one who’s on their side fighting for them. I just need to say it. Thank you, keep up the great work. And I’ll see you next week for our second episode of Party Talk, where we empower leaders in youth drug prevention.